Thursday, April 24, 2008

The "I'm So Confused, Annoyed, Angry, Tired of this Godforsaken Bullshit I Need to get Blackout Drunk" game

Alright, here we go

It took me a while to come up with something clever because I am a little scared of this concept. The last time I played a television drinking game my friend got alcohol poisoning, and I blame myself because the game was my idea: we watched Jackass and took a shot of rum every time someone got hurt.

Sooooo…….. I was thinking, while watching Lost, chug a beer every time you feel confused, but that’s too easy/deadly. Then I started narrowing down the possibilities of reoccurring Lost aspects. In terms of frequency, the type of alcohol varies.

Types of alcohol:

Beer, wine, whiskey, tequila, vodka, sake, Malibu.

Before the game starts, pour one shot of each alcohol and one entire beer into a giant mug. Also, one person is appointed the task of noting down every character that has a speaking part in the episode. The “rescuers” that just arrived on the island don’t count, because I haven’t memorized their names yet.

The game starts:

-Every time there is a flashback/flashforward: one can of Natty Light (or Coors Light if you’re a pansy) before the flashback/flashforward is over.

-When Sawyer says “freckles” take a shot of Southern Comfort

-When Hugo says “dude” take a HALF shot of tequila

-When Jack gives the stare down with vibrating eyeballs drink a screwdriver and develop daddy issues

-Snort a crushed up adderal whenever Ben’s daughter Alex rebels against him, boarding school-style

-When Jin speaks surprisingly good “broken” English, couple tiny swigs of sake

-When Claire mentions Charlie (this past season) drink two DIESEL malibu-and-cokes ( because she seems to have forgotten about him?).

-When Locke is on screen drink water, for survival

-When Juliette speaks you’re granted a 30 minute pass out because her voice is soooo soooothiiing. That also gives you the opportunity to think about her sweet rack and lezzing out with Angelina in “Gia”

-When Kate looks hot don’t do anything, just stare

-When Desmond says “brotha”, drink a sip of Christ’s blood (Yellowtail cabernet)

-When Sun is in her garden using her green thumb, do a hit off a small bowl (no water bongs or gravity hits people, we have to stay focused)

Now when the episode is over, everyone in the room has to name each character that said at least one sentence throughout the entire episode. The person who forgets the most characters, has to chug the alcohol concoction in the mug, and clean up the room when everyone passes out.


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